What do I tell my wife though....???

[Sun1914]

So, I just got back in the game which is a win for me since my wife was adamant about me NOT getting another tank until we bought a house....but thats not happening for another year; maybe two...so when i was able to convince her on a "small tank" (red sea max e-170... 43g) it was a MAJOR WIN . BUT!!! I now want a QT set up and the logic behind why definitely isnt going to work....so my question is how have you convinced your wife or husband on reef related sale/buy??

 

[york1]

diamonds

 

[fishfan504]

+1 Lol

 

[mphammer]

Good luck.. Asking for forgiveness instead of permission has always worked better for me

 

[ActiveAngel]

I communicate on my wife with my thoughts and incorporate her into the decision making process. I don’t do this every time, but anytime that I think it may potentially impact her or that she will have an opinion. She doesn’t necessarily like that we currently have 3 tanks (nor do I; 3 is too much work). But if/when I am considering a new fish, it means a 4th QT tank will be set up for 1-2 months.... and potentially 5 tanks if it’s a tang and I plan on doing TTM.

I don’t hide this; and after several years, she now understands both why this is important and also that it is temporary. Her responses are either ‘sure/cool’ or ‘maybe no for right now’... I know she avoids confrontation, and is never outright against it. And if/when she is thinking ‘maybe no’, then I respect her input and don’t get the new fish. That’s fine with me. That money instead goes to our ‘next house’ budget... and I’ll get a fish later.

This also applies to coral purchases... but coral QT isn’t as intensive as 1 of my 3 tanks is already dedicated to coral QT and observation.

 

[bhodges82]

Call it a "necessity", cant reef without it, and then buy her something shiny.

 

[Adam]

Relationships should be a balanced give and take. There shouldn't be any hard "No's" with the things that are of interest to either person. All that will lead to is resentment. Also if he/she compromises and allows another tank, or whatever the item is, it shouldn't be held over the others head till the end of time.

If the SO isn't as into the hobby and has no interest then there needs to be a compromise. Space is also a big issue and measures should be taken not to heavily impose on the other person. QT's are a long term temporary, but need to be explained what the benefits are.

There are also places online to buy QT'd fish that can be put directly into the display. Granted there is a cost associated with it which can also be explained why it may be less expensive to setup that QT tank.

 

[ActiveAngel]

Relationships should be a balanced give and take. There shouldn't be any hard "No's" with the things that are of interest to either person. All that will lead to is resentment. Also if he/she compromises and allows another tank, or whatever the item is, it shouldn't be held over the others head till the end of time.

If the SO isn't as into the hobby and has no interest then there needs to be a compromise. Space is also a big issue and measures should be taken not to heavily impose on the other person. QT's are a long term temporary, but need to be explained what the benefits are.

There are also places online to buy QT'd fish that can be put directly into the display. Granted there is a cost associated with it which can also be explained why it may be less expensive to setup that QT tank.

Agreed!

Also, for me, it is unusual that Atlanta LFS don’t QT (or if necessary, medicate) fish. My old LFSs, it was standard practice for LFS to do this with all fish before they made it to the showroom for customers to purchase. This is one reason that I like Southern Aquatics in Alpharetta.

 

[Adam]

Agreed!

Also, for me, it is unusual that Atlanta LFS don’t QT (or if necessary, medicate) fish. My old LFSs, it was standard practice for LFS to do this with all fish before they made it to the showroom for customers to purchase. This is one reason that I like Southern Aquatics in Alpharetta.

This is also why I plan to start a QT service for supporting members. I should be ready to go by the beginning of the year.

 

[mapleredta]

I'm extremely grateful that I have someone that's supportive of everything that I do.

 

[NanCrab]

My husband and I are in this together so we generally discuss all purchases, and usually agree but if we don’t we err on the side of the dissenter

 

[Sun1914]

Agreed!

Also, for me, it is unusual that Atlanta LFS don’t QT (or if necessary, medicate) fish. My old LFSs, it was standard practice for LFS to do this with all fish before they made it to the showroom for customers to purchase. This is one reason that I like Southern Aquatics in Alpharetta.

I have to drive into Atlanta today for a work meeting. On the way home I'll be shoppinh by S.A.
Good to know they QT

 

[Sun1914]

Al9t of great points on this thread and I agree with many of them. Relationships are about understanding and supporting one another...and its always about patience....just like this hobby.

 

[MiggidyMike]

Do all your honey dos, extra chores, do the lawn, be super sweet, compliment much and keep the house clean!! After you get the tank, go back to normal.

 

[SaltwaterGardening]

Reverse problem in my house. My husband made the decision to get into the tank scene together, as we both had interest for years. However, he continues to be the gate keeper for tank #2. Still working on the QT tank idea with him. In his mind, we can go out and buy what we need when we need it for 2 weeks. I explained that some people QT for much longer.

 

[jcook54]

My advice is dependent on the age of the vehicle you Wife drives. If it's a late model, purchase and install new windshield wipers. It makes such a difference and it's cheap. When she points out that they work great and thanks you for taking the time to "fix" the issue, talk about a new tank. It works.

 

[MiggidyMike]

I don’t know how much you can agree with this. But I used a bin in the garage to cure my live rock while I recaulked the tank. She still has not said anything about it in the garage. Haha lucky me for now. I always catch my wife looking at my tank when I’m not around. But, definitely include her in purchases and decisions. That always helps.


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